Chapter 363 Everybody's Sorry

~ SASHA ~

It was awful seeing him so shaken. She shushed him and stroked his face while he breathed and tipped his forehead against hers. Zev fought with himself, she could feel it in the tension in his steel arms, and the way he pressed his body into hers.

He kissed her at one point and she pulled him in tight, hands in his hair, letting herself tease his lips and tongue, doing anything she could to reassure him that she was there—or to distract him if that would work.

Zev's breathing got louder and he walked her backward into one of the trees, leaning on the trunk, holding her chin, and delving into her mouth in ways that made her breath come faster too.

He was still trembling, but she could feel the tension easing slowly as she clawed her fingers down the back of his scalp, the kneaded his neck.

Zev broke the kiss but searched her eyes while she touched him. Then he made a delicious noise, deep in his throat, and pressed his hips into hers.

Sasha welcomed his kiss again, wrapping her arms around his shoulders, and for a thrilling moment, she thought they might take advantage of the solitude.

He slid one hand under her shirt and found her breast, rolling her nipple between his thumb and forefinger sending those jolts of electricity directly to the junction of her thighs. Sasha let her head fall back against the trunk of the tree and gazed at him—his strong shoulders, rippled with muscle, the tendons on the arm he had braced on the tree, his eyes that were less pinched caution now, and more crackling flames.

Stroking her fingers along the line of his jaw she sighed. "You really are stunning, Zev. I mean… beyond hot. I still wonder when you're going to wake up and realize you're way out of my league," she said with a grin to soften the words. She didn't doubt his heart—but she was so grateful that she didn't have to.

Zev growled and took her mouth again, pinning her bottom lip between his teeth and tugging before he let it go. "No more of that," he muttered. Then he tilted his head and pressed into her again, his magical fingers drawing her nipples to points and making twitchy jolts of electricity snap through her body.

But just as she sucked in a thrilled breath because he slid a hand down to cup her ass and pull her against him—where he was very clearly having ideas that didn't originate in his skull—he froze.

Sasha went still as well.

Zev pulled his head back, turning it slowly like he was scanning for something. Then suddenly he stepped away from her, took her hand, and pulled her deeper into the trees.

"Are they—" she whispered, but Zev shook his head and gestured for her to be quiet.

He pulled her between trees and pushed through underbrush, holding back branches when he passed through so they wouldn't snap back and whack her.

Then they reached another trail, one Sasha didn't think she'd been on before, and Zev relaxed, straightening from his hunch and walking down the trail briskly, still holding her hand.

Sasha waited, looking around, but she couldn't see anyone.

"Are we alone?"

Zev nodded. "I just needed a few minutes. This will take us to the city eventually, but it'll take a little longer."

Sasha pulled his arm to her chest and hugged it with her free hand. "I'm really sorry I scared you, Zev. I'll make sure and leave a note or wake you next time, okay?"

He nodded. "I know it's an overreaction, Sash. I know I freaked. But I just… you've been taken from me so many times I scares the shit out of me. My head doesn't work clearly when I think you're in danger."

"I get it," she said quietly, frowning at the dirt trail in front of them. "I'm the same. I mean, not exactly the same. But I dream sometimes that I wake up and you're gone again. Or that you just leave and I don't know, and then I can't find you. It's… it's scary."

"You dream like that too?"

"Sometimes. Not as often since we came here, actually. I used to have those dreams all the time, and every time it was like I lost you all over again. I just… it just killed me."

Zev nodded, his throat bobbing. "What did you do when that happened?"

"What could I do? I sat in the dark with my whole body freaking out and just breathed and prayed until I could relax and get back to sleep."

Zev nodded again like she'd explained something that made sense.

Sasha frowned. "What? What did you hear in that?"

Zev looked down at her surprised, his hand tightening on hers. "Nothing big. I just realized, of course it makes sense that God would help you. It's no wonder you're able to get back to sleep."

"Zev, God would help you too."

He snorted, but just looked away, like he was ashamed.

"Zev, I'm serious."

"I know you are. But that's because you're a good person—a whole person. So it makes sense you to that God would just be nice to people. But it doesn't work that way for everyone, Sash."

Sasha sighed. "Zev, you've got to stop making these assumptions about your soul, you don't have a clue—"

"Yes, I do," he said easily, though he wasn't smiling. "Did you know there are books from back in the bible times—the old stuff—that talk about people like me? Experiments and magic and… I mean, sure they didn't have technology, but they did this stuff even back then. You know that right? I'm not pulling this out of my ass, Sasha. I'm damned. The Chimera are damned."

"On what basis?"

"On the basis that we were never meant to exist. That we fall outside of… intended Creation. We're products of evil." He shrugged. "Don't worry about it. I'm kind of used to the idea now. But I think… I think that whole picture just makes me panic when I think I'm losing you, you know? I have to make the most out of this life. And… fuck I hope you're enough for our kids, Sasha. I hope they get their soul from you."