Chapter 445 Ready... Set...

~ ZEV ~

They left him standing there, staring, in front of that awful shack. If it had been anyone but Nick, Zev would have felt bad. But instead he wished they could have hurt him more.

They turned back towards the trail, holding hands, Zev's heart thrumming too quickly, but not hard. Sasha didn't mention him shifting, or them rushing back, so he walked on with her while she obviously processed everything that had happened. Everything they were about to do.

"How long do you think it will take for him to realize we're serious?" she asked several minutes later when they were down the trail, walking with purpose, but not fast.

Zev shrugged. "Probably only a few hours. However long it takes him to figure out what he's going to do, whether we told the truth or not. He's kind of impatient—and terrified of the Creatures. He's not going to go wandering around Thana. But he'll know that we know that. That'll stop him from believing us quickly. Because he's always playing games, he'll assume we are as well."

Sasha shook her head. "It's the truth, isn't it, that people always expect from you what they do themselves."

Zev huffed. "The Team definitely does," he said darkly. "They're always lying and manipulating, so they always expect others to do it too."

"But I feel like I'm thinking everyone's lying because I've been lied to. Not because I lie."

Zev sighed. "Yeah."

She squeezed his hand.

He was going to ask her if she wanted him to shift and carry her quickly, but she seemed content to just walk, though he could feel the tension rising in her.

"I'm scared, Zev," she said quietly a few minutes later.

"I'm here," he said simply.

She shook her head. "No. I'm scared of getting this wrong. Of getting our son hurt—or worse— because I judged wrong. Like, if I didn't know the Gateway would travel time for us, I would be rushing to get there, but now I'm scared and I'm hanging back and it's because I'm afraid of screwing this up. He pays, Zev. If we get this wrong, he pays."

Zev nodded. "I know, me too." And he did. In fact, he wasn't sharing his thoughts with her because he didn't want to scare her.

He knew the cold emptiness of a lab as your bedroom.

He knew the uncertainty of nights alone as a child.

He knew the quivering fear of a child with no one to turn to—and a life lived in a vacuum.

He didn't want Sasha to see that because he knew she'd panic. But his own blood chilled every time he thought about possibly leaving his son to that kind of existence.

Please… he prayed. Please… help us.

He blew out a breath as they walked. Sasha, sensing his sadness, leaned into his side. He put his arm around her shoulders and they walked together. And he prayed. He prayed that they would get their son early enough that he would never know a world that didn't love him.

And he prayed for their safety, so they could make him safe.

He prayed for the Chimera, that they wouldn't panic, or be in danger, but that the Safe Place would be… so much better.

Everything… it was overwhelming the number of things he wanted. The number of things he yearned for. Ached to possess, ached to see in the world.

How the hell were they going to do this?

"Hey," Sasha said, squeezing his waist. "We're in this together, remember?"

And that was the other thing. How were they possibly going to do this?

"Tell me your theory," he said gruffly. "About the gateway. How is it do you think that we're going to be able to do this without knocking you out?"

Sasha tensed under his arm. "It is just a theory," she said cautiously. "But I hope I'm right. I just… did you notice that when we went through the Gateway it took a couple of seconds for the bond to hurt? Like… like for that first step we weren't separated?" He hadn't really thought about it, but he shrugged. "Yeah."

"Well, other mates go through the gateway separately all the time and don't have that right? So there's got to be something different about our bond. It could be because I'm human and you're not. But… I think it's because we're Ardent, Zev. I think it's a specific kind of bond and I think… I hope that it means that if we step in together, the gateway won't separate us on our own journeys like it does with everyone else."

"I hope you're right. You've been right about a lot of stuff, Sash."

"I've been wrong about a lot, too," she muttered. "But yeah… I just… can't you feel it? Like we have a piece of each other? I'm praying that whatever's going on there, whatever connects us will keep us together in the Gateway. Just to be safe, I think we should walk in actually touching. I mean, we don't know, right? It seemed to break when we walked away from each other when one of us went into the Gateway. So… so let's not do that, okay?"

"Sure," he huffed.

When they made it to the cave, Zev couldn't help checking to see if there were any Chimera nearby, or in the cave itself. He even reached out with his mind and felt suddenly, achingly lonely. He realized at that moment, that he'd never been in a world that didn't have other wolves in it. Whether he could reach them or not, he'd always been able to sense them. Now… there was nothing. Just an echoing hole.

He immediately turned for Sasha's mind and found her—already open to him—just to soothe his heart.

When they stepped into the cave and the shadows engulfed them, Zev took a deep breath.

They stood in front of the Gateway together for a moment, then he turned to her. "I think I should carry you."

She half-smiled. "Okay."

He leaned down and lifted her into his chest. She wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned her head on his shoulder. They both sighed.

Then before he stepped forward, Sasha whispered.

"Please," she prayed. "If you're really there… if you really care… make this possible. Make it safe. Help us get our son back."

He looked down at her, kissed her fiercely while she gripped his neck, then he broke the kiss and turned back to the Gateway.

"Let's do this," he muttered. She nodded, her eyes wide.

"I love you, Sash."

"I love you, too."

Then he tightened his arms around her and stepped inside.