Chapter 380 The Ache Inside  

~ LHARS ~

Lhars stared down at her, willing her to hear him and to see what he saw—to be unwilling to remove herself from any of them. From him most of all. "You know as well as I do that the world is full of injustice. It is full of pain. You and I will not sentence ourselves or anyone else to a lifetime of it out of… compassion for those we can't save. Promise me. Promise me you won't do that!"

Kyelle blinked at his intensity and licked her lips quickly. "I-I do. I promise, Lhars, I wasn't—"

"I'm serious, Kyelle—you vow to me that you will not throw yourself away on their cruelty!" He was gripping her hard, he realized and forced himself to gentle his touch. But Kyelle was apparently shocked from her tears. She lifted one of her hands from his furs and put it to his face.

"I'm sorry, Lhars. I didn't mean to make you think… I'm sorry. I promise. I vow—okay? I won't stay or… or do anything stupid. I won't. That wasn't what I meant. I just… I grieve for them. That's all. I'm just grieving for them."

Somehow she was soothing him now, stroking his face and clearing her throat, making her voice strong, as if she was afraid he might do something to hurt himself if she didn't.

"I promise," she whispered, stroking his cheek. "Do you hear me? I promise."

Lhars nodded.

They stood so close their noses almost touched. She'd stopped crying, though her breath still hitched, but she was searching his eyes, as if afraid of what she'd find there.

Lhars held her upper arms, though he'd made himself loosen his grip. But her hands on him—one fisted in his furs, the other at his face—were rigid and trembling.

They stared at each other, and Lhars felt all of his love rush forward, his heart swelling with yearning and aching and joy because she was so close, and he could smell how being close to him had made her less afraid. She was touching him!

Then he blinked.

She was emotional. She'd just had a terrible shock and needed help from an Alpha, someone she could lean on without creating insecurity for the hierarchy. She'd come to him because Zev—the one she really wanted comfort from—was gone with his mate. And other Zev, Lhars was her oldest friend. She loved Lhars, but not in the way that he loved her, he reminded himself.

He swallowed hard and made himself let go. He couldn't let himself give in to this rush, this want. He couldn't pressure her. She was carrying enough. If he couldn't have her as his mate, he wanted her like this—unguarded and willing to lean on him.

Lhars straightened, clearing his throat, tearing his eyes from hers to look at the forest around them as if checking for intruders. "Are you okay?" he muttered.

Kyelle blinked, but she nodded. He dropped his eyes to the ground and she blinked again. Then her grip on his furs loosened and she stepped back, her fingers trailing down his jaw as she dropped her hands to her sides.

"Thank you," she breathed, but when he looked up, her eyes had clouded and it made him grieve. "I'm sorry I put all that on you."

He shook his head. "I want you to come to me, Kyelle. Don't ever hesitate. Please. Don't apologize."

She stared at him and took a deep breath like she might say something, but then she stepped back, then back again. "Thank you," she whispered.

Then before he could answer, she turned and darted back towards the City.

Lhars held himself together until she disappeared between the trees and underbrush, then slumped and put his face in his hands.

*****

~ SASHA ~

Sasha woke first and for a moment she couldn't remember why she felt so happy. She just knew she was warm and comfortable and loving how Zev's arm was thrown over her waist. Then she opened her eyes to the indigo glow of the ice cave in the half-light of dawn and actually smiled. Zev lay facing her, his arm outside the furs and throw over her, his face relaxed and shadowed by stubble.

She could only see the shape and shadow of his face in this light, but even that partial glimpse of his handsome face made her stomach trill.

How was it possible that she seemed to want him even more now than she had before? How was it that every day that passed, she wanted him more—yearned to be closer. Why was her appetite never sated?

She wanted to reach out from under the warm furs and stroke his face, but she didn't want to wake him. He'd had even less sleep than her in the previous days—enough that she was starting to wonder if they could find a cave somewhere near the City so he'd sleep better. Even though the Alpha bedchamber was large and quiet, he still wasn't sleeping through most nights, no matter how late they went to bed.

But here… in the cave with the smell of ice and stone, he was deeply asleep, and had been for hours.

She made a mental note to ask him during the walk back to the City. But for now, she just lay still and watched him, thinking of all the ways he'd loved her the night before.

He'd bathed her, made love to her again, fed her, loved her again. They'd lain together for a nap in the afternoon, then woken to another burning ache, but he'd laid over her this time, loving her slowly and talking to her as he did.

Sasha was overwhelmed, both by her own desire for him and with humility for the shameless way he loved her.

She'd spent so many years aching for him and now he was here. And no matter what was coming… she was never leaving his side. Never. The wave of fear that washed over her when she even thought about it was breathtaking.

Ardent, she realized. That's what this meant.

It meant they were a part of each other now. Forever.